Recently, I spoke with some men about the importance of structure. A crucial point was made about the need for maturity in our lives surrounding structure.
In order for us to grow, the way we think and see things must change. If I get to legalistic about the to-do list, I end up accomplishing nothing more than doing stuff. I can take away the human experience if I try to control the situation. By forcing thing to go my way, there is no room for connection and love.
My personal experience is within the last few weeks. For the last year, martial arts and jiu jitsu have changed Bryce’s (our 11 year old) life. He has great friends. He won tournaments. He likes it. He is healthy and sharp...He got burnt out.
He said he was exhausted, so I listened. I took him out early one day and we went swimming. He hung out with my dad the next day, and spent the day on the water. We also went to a water park and he had some other stuff planned. The point is that I had to listen to him when he looked me in the eye and said "I’m exhausted and I don’t want to go anymore." His tears were real and I need to watch for that. I can’t worry about making him go because it is what the schedule says. We only do those things when they are helpful.
My new friend Mit says “influence over obedience.” If we make someone do something in that situation, you will lose your ability to influence them later. Choose to influence, rather than force them to obey.
Structure is great, but it’s just the beginning.
Have a great day!
-Neal